It's been 2 years since your passing on; and it's been almost that long that I have ever broke down because of it.

But recently, I broke down twice in a week and in all place in camp. Shown a side rarely seen by people who are not close to myself personally.
That reason aside, I been putting a lot of undue stress on myself due to my performance in camp. Somehow, I am marred by the fact I am not performing up to my own standards. Postings to unit will be out in 2 weeks and with my recent results, I am fearing for the worst already. Hopefully, I would be able to serve the rest of my NS usefully.

Simple to put, I am now on the edge of cliff.

Oh well, Santa beens fairly kind to me.

Passed my PDT and law test.

Shooting, had to shoot 3 frames. Managed to get a First class for my fifth frame yet fail my Final one !

Problems with the danm thing and poor confidence. Oh, hope getting a pass at re shoot hopefully.

The fact that I am typing this post shouldn't exist even !

Oh well, Merry Christmas to fellow friends, colleagues or whoever visit this cobweb.
My blog hasn't been the nicest to visit because it's mostly text and no pictures. They will come soon, I promise.

This weeks marks the 'final' week of my NS life ! *that is provided I pass the upcoming tests*

I got PDT, law, and shooting test coming up and only 1 am I being confident of; law, surprisingly.
I have been saying this lately that I will be O.O.C soon because my confident is at it lowest now.

PDT; have been marked by the instructor since day 1. technically, i suck at this kind of stuff.
Shooting; 54 of it never made it into the target board, out of 125. Perfect eh.
Law; first few test were never passed. Till lately, passing is a norm thought I am a little more ambitious.

After this turbulence week, it would be probably be 2 to 3 weeks of drills and free and easy schedule before I get to know where I will be posted. Oh well, wish me luck Santa. I know I have been a good guy this year round ;).

Simple Genius.

I should consider a career change. Sheer determination plus luck.

EMO.

I can be on cloud 9 one moment, and look gloomy the next.
I just simple feel that among the chains, I am the weakest link. Yearning for that empty void to be filled for a long time, yet nothing could be done by me. Not even to clear up my biggest doubts and question mark.

COMPLAINTS

By virtue, I am serving what is most people say the slackest form of national service.
Even so, having a bad mental block as test are coming up with me not being much confident about.

THOUGHTS

I should simply cut off my two dangling balls and don a skirt better.