just got back from malacca.

not really tired. just werid. this year. its without my dad. =(
so my uncle drove us in , on his mpv.

the causeway was jammed when we were entering m'sia. waited bout 45 mins.
there was this guy driving a johor registered proton car.we were on the first lane wating to clear the immigration when he came out of nowhere. my uncle mpv was bigger so he decided not budge . this idiot managed to squeeze through and got his side mirror scratched. cut to second lane and back to first lane. lol


then we hit the m'sian highway. it was still jammed pack. but manage to get clear road after 2hrs. driving at an average of 120 km/h .
another uncle who was a teacher drove at 150km/h . lol
both uncles were "racing" at the highway. it may seem fast but we took 6 hrs to reach my malacca uncles home.

at night we had dinner. had those malacca style satay buffet. you dipped those sticks of food( meat balls, fish balls) etc into the sauce and eat it after cooked. spicy and hot.. yummy.
there was also a clear base soup to clear the stomach. food was so much that i was bloated.
the next day we slept till late morning before heading to my 4 jiu gong house ( my grandma's brother) we had malay food of rendang and satay. very shock. nice and yummy. had five plates of rendangs. hahaha
then we just slack there, gather around chat etc.
then my cousin sent me and my sis with another cousin to the shopping mall to walk around. not much stuff there really. but ate again. haha
the Mcspicy double was so small. cant fill my stomach . lol

went home for another dinner. this time all the cousins from KL , Malacca came , along with my niece and nephew. the last day we went out for breakfast and headed back

Had the weirdest dream yesterday night. First was me going to malaysia. I saw my dad being freaked out by a ghost. Asking him to accompany me to bath, he chose to sleep instead. And when I decided to take a bath, I was standing in front of a fan instead.
Then I dreamt I read a blog of someone
“went out with him today. After seeing movie , he was “flirting” with me .. hehe =x when he suddenly asked : hey , we have known for long ler. Would you be my gf.
She replied : I guess I’lll have to let you wait
He : ok. ”

After this blog reading event, the two person was in the house I am in Malaysia. And I saw him preparing to give him a ring but trying to avoiding letting me see. It was so real. It just felt it gonna happen and be successful.

This dream was so danm real that it forced me to wake up at 730 just to finish it. By then it was late for school. Lucky my fac was later.

to love is to err. afterall, which human dont?
silence in waiting, i will not stop.
for seeing your laughter would fix a broken day.
finding the courage was never easy. so i chose silence.
it may seem toruturing. but it will be worthwhile.
will the day of courage and a loving couple ever come ?

yy's thoughts....


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johnson inspired me to write poem. never a very "english" person. definatly not the type
who will speak good english. but when thoughts are put in words, it forms a poem. i guess ..

owent for IG meeting. suppose to be in school by 10 am.
but didnt . oops . Ronald called me at 1023 am. realised i was late. still sleeping . so sorry

reach there at 1130. people who were there early, so sorry, so they left first. then discuss on the work plan of the ig. had lunch and went home.

so sorry for making ur face. accidental de. hope its not painful still ...
dun make me feel guilty la =(

took mrt home. was kinda tired . but guess another guy was more tired. he stood up from his seat and went straight to the door exit which leads no where. lol trying to commit sucide ? haha
yesterday took mrt. thought squeezing was enough liao. this auntie pulled my bag as her handle. urghh. then getting down mrt, i open up such a big space for her to get out she still !@#!@# me.
was tired so didnt care her much .

i thought i had u completly forgotten. not the case.

ppl has been saying we look compatible. but all i could say , no we are not together.

java ut. totally screwed. though revised on recursion, my knowledge of it was still not up to standard. definatly need more revision.
had a bad sleep and went to school with red eye. sorry if i look mean or restless .

after a week of considering and pondering. finally decided to get the SE w550i handphone.
had a 100 dollar voucher for early upgrade, so i paid additonal and cahnge my plan to student plan. hehe
save up on my hp bills. 1000 free sms, 100 outgoing , free incoming all days. worth it.
hope i will grow use to this new phone as its my first erricson phone.

one week time is CNY. will be heading to malacca. hehe
cny is just being so empty.

finally 4 days of open house is over.
so tired. really mess up my brain awhile

guess i was a little worked up the past few days.
not enough sleep. bad eating diet.


sometimes i guess i can be rather harsh when i am speaking off my mind. but if i dont, who bothers my words?
never wanted to make a stand for fear of offending someone.
when i do, i offend someone too.

so many things to think, to make decisions, to arrange.
yet so little time to sort out my mood. sorry to those offended. i was being paranoid.
glad that you still use the word " friend". it makes me feel so embreassed at being a "xiao ren"

chinese new year is coming. hope its a good start again for me, friends and family.

fucker. thats you.

lier with a big grin. thats you too .

simply summing up , you a fucking hypocrite .


......................

so tired . just got back home from open house. 3 days of bad sleeping and tired boring day in open house
new campus big and nice. but still not yet completed .

feeling terrible nowadays. faking smiles, quiteness.
its been a terrible 4 mths into my 19 years old birthday.

if you want to do it, do it in front of me. doing at the back, what you think you can achieve ?
it allows makes me misplace my trust for you. time after time i tell myself, its nothing, just normal routine.
but its getting so obvious, you are showing all signs of liking. please i am no 3 year old kid.

not trying to say anything here. but you do change mind fast enough. a little incentives does the trick. why dont u just kill the hopes i held once and for all ? its terrible. i understand your view point but tried understanding from my point ?

my dads passing was a very hard blow to dealt with. even though 4 mths has gone fast and swift, i still ache when i see loving families on the straight, words of friends having a caring family behind thier back.
just need someone to talk to, enlighten me.
the problem adds to my heavy burden and with the PP deadline rushing through soon, i am really in a rush. rushing against itme , rushing against the harsh reality

=(

raining and raining. its been raining all day long.

looking outside the window now, it looks like another rainy day to come.
chinese new year is coming but it seems festive season mood has been going down and there isnt a real sense of eagerness to celebrate things. =(

today went out to PS. suppose watch movie. but all reach on the dot of the showing time and Ronald will be late so we changed plan.

went to POSB get $$ first. haha . thursday got money to eat in school liao . then we went to Gelare and wait for ronald.
no 1/2 price ! 4get is public holiday, but still ate the waffle. was rather filled with 3/4 gone. appetite has gone down recently. not sure why.

then we went to this basement of doughby ghourt to play X-box. didnt know there was such a place haha. " slack " there for 2 hrs plus and then all went home.

reach home watch TV. haha
den mum took otu my bro PE shirt for him to test on. omg so big !!
he wore size 36 and i fit nicely into the shirt. haha . I am primary school kid .
then there was anotehr given by his friends brother. so big ! size 42. wahaa
i am wearing it right now. feel like kid again lol

suppose to be sleeping now. hehe test at 830 am tml.

went through the slides. hope that tml will be a smooth sailing test.
theres a terrorist drill running now and hope it doesnt happen during my travel to school
the drill lasts for an hour !!


2006 has been starting greatly for my friends. 3 friends getting a gf in the first week of 2006
congrats man.
dun forget about your friends ah.. hahah

couldnt talk much with johnson, he was too happy till he cant get proper sentence with me. ..
zzz

have been thinking of how to earn $$ recently. all the dreams and money thinking makes me mixing reality with virtuality. feasible idea, no capital. thats the harsh reality. but still theres things like connections, business acumen etc.
haha dun ask me why an IT student like me likes doing business. just an interest , leaning more towards the pot of gold at the end , haha

Singapore getting "smaller" i think. met another primary sch friend in my poly.
my secondary sch friend is actually working with current poly classmate at the same place.
hmm what else would there be ? more conincedentals ?

haven been bloggin. got into fever and flu
blame myself for playing in the rain.

sch open. looks the same but the same environment will be gone in 2 mths. anticipating the new campus but think i will miss this campus too.

got so used to the places here.

its now the second day of 2006. i am late to post but its ok.
spent the last day of 2005 with my family and friend

afternoon brought my bro to swimming lesson only to be stopped by the sudden rain. so instead went off to interchange to have dinner and then went to the temple to pray.
bought my bro to cut hair and went home with mum and bro.

took a bath and went to east coast. was hungry as were Ronald. so we had some fried rice. haha but it didn't fill up the gap in my stomach. so we went to rent bike to cycle.
oh man. what a nice way to end my last few mins of 2005. i fall off my bike. was pressing my brakes hard on and got "threw" off the seat , with my body thumping the ground first and the bike on my back. my chin hit the floor hard on and got a cut. haven got the pic of it yet will upload once i got it.
well it totally sums up one word for my year 2005. Unlucky.

2005 is really an unlucky year. The things I lost are much more than the things I earned.
Somethings were totally inreplaceble , somethings just went missing.
but i also gained friendship and other valuable life long lessons. lessons that can never be taught in textbooks.

well then crossing over the 2006, I almost had another accident. Some guy almost bang into me as he tried to do some stupid stunt. luckily i break and waited there. yeah . enough events for day 365 of 2005 , and day 1 of 2006.

2006 means alot to me i guess.

3rd year in poly. fyp , pp , new campus , more involvement in CCA
NAPFA test for my army coming up .
i guess i need to push myself hard for my NAPFA because i am actually putting an option to myself. whether to sign on for the army . i thought of it because i need the $$ and upon graduation from poly, i do not what are my chances of landing a job with stable pay.
but to sign on , as my friend say, you need to go as high ranked as possible if not the army wont consider toask you to sign on anot.
the pay are quite good with bonus and lump sums. of wells , i just got to work hard from now

i am tottaly lost in life and feel tired already. one day thie body of mine will close down and hoopefully it wont be soon .